What classes as an early miscarriage?
A loss before 12weeks gestation.
Types of early miscarriages:
- Silent miscarriage
- Molar pregnancy
- Ectopic pregnancy
- Blighted ovum
- Chemical pregnancy
Link herefor explanations of types of miscarriages.
- Lower backache
- Loss of pregnancy symptoms
- Light pregnancy test after dark
- Positive pregnancy test followed by negative
- No symptoms at all!
Any type of loss is still a loss. I don’t care if its at 4 weeks, 10 or 12. When you see those two lines on that pregnancy test you cant help but feel joy and start planning all the things for the new arrival. You plan what the nursery will look like, baby names, gender reveals, maternity wear etc BUT most of all you LOVE that baby already, you picture your baby in your arms for the first time, the first cuddle, the first breath they take outside the womb. All of these thoughts and feelings happen as soon as you realise you are pregnant! This is why to me i don’t think a loss early on shouldn’t be seen as loss. IT IS. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Believe me i have had people close to me say “oh well it wasn’t a baby yet” and those types of comments hurt. a lot. Obviously the baby isn’t technically a foetus until around 9 weeks but the heart begins beating from as early as week 6 and to me even right after conception its still a baby. A life has been made.
My experiences and feelings
- My body doesn’t work
- Why me
In my experiences i didn’t receive much support or help. My partner was great but thats about it. Medical professionals don’t help at all! Theres support if you need medical management but if you miscarry naturally or have a chemical loss then there is NOTHING. You are quite literally alone. Also another thing i noticed is that when you open up about your loss you then get comments from people saying you are selfish because you have kids already, how you should just accept you cant have more children and to be happy with the kids you do have. Now whilst i am truly grateful i have my 3 children i will not accept thats it. If a woman feels her family isn’t complete and wants another child then so be it. Its not selfish to want more children, you still love all of your kids the same.
I have experienced a chemical loss and a blighted ovum. Both have changed me… i still hurt, everyday. Some days are easier than others but the pain never fully goes. What you should know is that this sadly happens much more often than you think, so so many women experience a loss but for their own reasons they keep it to themselves. The cause isn’t always known and any loss isn’t your fault. These things sadly do just happen.
I hope this post helped in some way shape or form. Have you experienced a loss? how has it changed you?